Hollywood is not ready for this Jelly

Hollywood is certainly not catching what I've been pitching. Here are my top 3 rejected TV shows for the new season:

The Pope Po

Sick of Italy's rising crime rate, a Senior Clergyman at the Vatican gets a second job as an undercover narcotics officer. Days of hymn singing and prayer darken into nights scouring Rome's seedy underbelly. No bad guy is safe with this nightstick wielding, Bible thumping, crime fighter. The Pope Po is a one stop shop for drugs, head bashing, and confession. Guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat just as if you were attending a mass in person.


Buddha (Buddha) Rockin' Everywhere

This rags to riches series tells the uplifting story of a Buddhist monk reborn into a hip hop artist outside of his monastary. A tsunami forces this monk to America, where he gains weight dining on western food, and wins a free-stye battle on 106 & Park. He soon has a #1 album entitled Karma - Cause and Effect, which includes 8 noble tracks and teaches street thugs everywhere the way of balance, peace, and harmony.


The Gooks of Hazzard

Sook and Ho are former Yakuza gang members that were put into the Witness Protection program and forced to move into rural West Virginia. Their misadventures include irking local law enforcement and driving a souped up orange Honda Civic Si complete with a confederate flag painted on the roof. The car is aptly named the General "Lee" (or maybe the General Tso).

***Disclaimer: I do realize that the derogative term gook is mostly used for the Vietnamese, that the Yakuza is Japanese and that General Tso was Chinese, but hey who are we kidding? Joe Plumber won't know the difference.


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So if you would like be cast in, or finance any of these projects please contact me ASAP. I do accept paypal, most canadian coins, and IOU's. Please, no Farmville gifts.

Thanks.